First of all xoxoxox

As you know, I have too much experience with out of control tantrums. It sounds as if she isn't able to regulate herself very well. My DD2 will tantrum and then is able to snap out straight away... whereas DD1 isn't able to snap out of it. I had to always let it run its course.

For me, I had to learn how to separate my emotions from the experience. Sometimes you can't compromise and have to stick to the answer... so if that is the case, then you have to figure out how to ride out the tantrum. I remember that it is her having issues regulating herself. If I see it going that way, I will try to do some OT things which help them regulate their emotions, deep breathing (we practice blowing up balloons to see who can do it the longest), core strengthening work (wheelbarrows, planks, etc etc). But they only work if I catch her before the meltdown.

If they have gone over the edge, its generally a tired thing and/or a regulating thing... so there are not many options then, the best thing to do is ride it out. Let them know you love them and you understand they are feeling frustrated/tired/hungry whatever and give them a voice for their feelings, sit near them or cuddle them HARD and take breaks if you need too.

For us, a lot had to do with avoiding issues which caused meltdowns, so if she was tired and hungry and couldn't eat because she was so tired than I wouldn't fight dinner... I would ignore and when everyone else was finished then I would encourage her to get up and move on, if she cried that she was hungry but not this food, whatever, I would offer milk (rice milk) and leave it there, she was too tired to eat properly and then I would do calming activities like massage, cuddles whatever. I had to choose my battles. What battle I would work on this week... if it was dinner, well than I needed to be prepared for the backlash for that week...

LAstly.... xoxoxoxo love you